In my last post, we discovered how I came to be ‘Horton’, so now it’s time for an update on my ‘Who’.
Something extraordinary is happening in our house at the moment. Something unexpected. Something brilliant! It all started in January, and I would not have dreamed that in only five short months, things could be progressing as they are.
When Fraser was about five months old, I knew something was off kilter. I watched and hoped I was wrong. I heard it all from others as well as from my own head. ‘He’s a boy, they’re different to girls’, ‘he’s just laid back’, ‘he’ll get there’, ‘stop worrying’! Oh how I wanted to believe it was so, but he didn’t point, he didn’t have eye contact and he didn’t respond to his name, so at about 14 months I started to Google Autism. I didn’t really have much of an Autism reference point apart from Rain Man, so I got familiar with the main symptoms fairly quickly. After researching for a while, there seemed to be standard symptoms that we started to expect and he had more than enough for a diagnosis, but after attending a class for parents of Autistic children, I was struck by how different Fraser was to the other boys. They talked about how they had melt downs if their routines were interrupted, Fraser wasn’t like that at all, in fact he was incredibly laid back, and if he did have a tantrum, it never lasted longer than a few minutes. The other boys weren’t affectionate, whereas Fraser was incredibly affectionate and still is. I was actually told around this time that as he gets older he won’t hug me…’it will be like hugging a sack of potatoes’. Nice! The other boys were obsessed with trains and Thomas the Tank Engine. The older ones were obsessed with train time tables and maps, and most of them liked to line things up. They were all obsessed with numbers. Fraser showed no interest in any such thing. Even as time has passed, he never developed much of an interest in numbers. He learned to count, but it never really progressed beyond that.
Enter January 2014. During the summer holidays, Fraser had some times when his frustration levels were through the roof, mostly because he couldn’t communicate with us what he was wanting looked up on the computer. He would sit us down and gesture with his hand that he wanted something typed in but couldn’t tell us what. Every time we suggested something we thought it might be, he got more and more frustrated. It broke both of our hearts, because, I couldn’t blame him one bit. I can’t begin to imagine being in a human body, living in a human world where communication is everything, but missing one of the most human traits all…the ability to speak and understand language. It is so very cruel. So one day, I decided to teach him to type. I had seen and heard of many instances such as the inspiring Carly Fleishman, and figured there was nothing to lose. I had actually made an attempt a few years before by locking the computer and making his name the password. It worked. He learned to type his name and unlock the computer, to be able to watch his movies, but he just wasn’t into it beyond that. This year was different though. I think he needed to get almost to the point of desperation for him to see the benefit of learning to type. So the first thing he learned to type was ‘Toy Story’ and after being shown it a few times, he picked it up really quickly. The look of sheer delight at his accomplishment was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. His whole body was electrified with excitement as he could see this world of opportunity opening up before him. After that, he developed an insatiable appetite for spelling and the alphabet. It got to the point where we had to put his books away at night, because he couldn’t get enough. One night I got out a number book, just to break things up a bit, but he wanted to know how to spell the numbers! O-n-e, t-w-o. You get the idea. I made him up a dictionary of common words that he likes to look up and he looks at it every day.
The other day, my sister was over, so I did that thing that proud parents do, which is pretty much treat your child like a performing monkey. I asked him to spell his name out loud. He got to F-r-a and forgot the rest. I tried to encourage him but he yelled ‘all finished’ and ran off looking embarrassed. I hadn’t really seen this before, so we followed him to his room to see if he was okay. He was. In fact, he was laying on his bed with his dictionary studying his name! He then turned around and spelled it correctly, looking as proud as punch. What a moment that was!
Later that day, as I was putting him to bed, he was playing some music on his CD player which he does everyday, but tonight, he was listening to the beautiful song ‘Hands’ by Jewel. He was listening to it over and over again (of course). It just couldn’t have been more apt.
If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we’re all OK
And not to worry ’cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won’t be made useless
I won’t be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they’re not yours, they are my own,
But they’re not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
It was just such an incredible moment listening to the song that he has chosen. From a boy who is using his hands to speak, it was a perfect fit. The autistic boy, with no particular interest in numbers, has a love of letters. THANKYOU UNIVERSE!!! He knows all of his letters, he can spell, he can tell us words when we point to them and ask him what they are. He is getting there! Sometimes on this journey, Autism can be your friend, and those obsessions can lead to something incredibly beneficial. As I said at the beginning, never, ever, ever, underestimate a Who.
There is a lot more to this Who than meets the eye, and I couldn’t be more chuffed.
Kitty xx
AUTnotISM 