As Miranda Hobbs in Sex and the City 2 succinctly put’s it “being a mother is hard”. Charlotte then replies “Oh my God, it is so hard, and I have full time help”! I know it’s not a great movie, but I love it anyway. When it was on at the movies, I went to see it three times. Every time that line was uttered, I silently wept. Just to hear someone say it made me feel so much better. I know it’s just a line from a movie, but it is the absolute truth. Whether you’re married, or a single mum. Whether you have an only child or multiple children. Whether you have neuro typical children or special needs children and whether you have help or not, what I have found is that it doesn’t matter. Being a mother is really hard.
I think it’s always been tough, but I think there are so many more expectations these days. We generally work whether we want to or need to, PLUS cook and clean, PLUS do all the running around to the kids endless social and sporting events. When I was growing up, the neighbourhood was crawling with kids to play with. All you had to do was walk out your front door. My daughter and most of her friends don’t have that, they need to be dropped off and picked up. Then, we’re supposed to be healthy, and look good, and have hair like in a shampoo commercial, and drink some wine ‘cos it’s good for your heart but not too much ‘cos it’s bad for your brain. We’re supposed to be on committee’s and go to working bee’s and, well, the list is endless. In the 70’s there just didn’t seem to be that many problem children that I could see, so I had absolutely no reason to think that when I got married and had kids of my own, it wouldn’t be as easy as it was on the Brady Bunch. Hahahahahaha. That’s the universe having a laugh at me 🙂
Over the years as I have gone through trying times, I have experimented as much on myself as I have my son, to try and keep us on an even keel, and while vodka, lime and soda was one of my fave’s for a while, it’s not a good choice in the long term. Man it got me through some tough nights though! Here is my list of more appropriate ways to keep yourself going.
Kitty’s list of things that keep her sane and appearing relatively normal
Of course my heading is tongue in check, but very true at the same time. You see, a sense of humour is so important, and if you can’t laugh at yourself or your situation find something that will make you laugh. A movie, a tv show, a book, anything! My fave is Modern Family. I just put on an episode and i’m always guaranteed a chuckle.
Herbs – There are many stress busting herbs to try, but I have found two that work for me really well. I know for a fact I have high cortisol (stress hormone), so I got myself some Holy Basil which does indeed lower cortisol. High Cortisol can be life saving in the short term, but dangerous if chronically high. It can prevent your body from making the female hormone progesterone. In this day and age we have waaaaay to much oestrogen, so it’s important to balance it out with progesterone. I’ll talk more about oestrogen later. Holy Basil just makes me feel so much calmer and I can’t be without it.
Siberian Ginseng is an adaptogenic herb which means the more you take it, the better your body can cope with stress. The only down side with this is that you can only take it for 6 weeks at a time. You can have a break and go back on it though. It really does lower my anxiety when i’m on it and I feel better able to cope with unexpected things.
Meditation – Stop rolling your eyes! I do a lazy meditation which means, I turn on the iPod and let my favourite mediation play as I drift off to sleep. My fave is Louise Hay’s ‘What I believe and Deep Relaxtion’. It’s an audiobook so I forward straight to the meditation which is about 20 minutes in. I listen as she tells each part of my body to relax, and it always does. I got it off iTunes, but there are so many others. Pick the one that is right for you.
Vitamins and Minerals – When you are stressed your body burns through certain vitamins fairly quickly. The one’s that are most helpful to supplement with are zinc, b6 and magnesium. There are many zinc and magnesium supplements available, and I usually just use whatever is going. Zinc and magnesium are each responsible for over 300 reactions throughout the body, and should never be underestimated. For b6 I only use the active form called Pyridoxal 5 Phosphate or P5P. This form of b6, spares your liver the job of breaking it down. Long or short term stress can cause a condition called Pyroluria, and these supplements, along with good quality omega 3 fish oil are essential. I prefer brands that have their fish oils in triglyceride form and are also certified heavy metal free such as Nordic Naturals.
Vitamin C – It is impossible to leave good old vitamin c of this list. In orthomolecular medicine, vitamin c is a powerhouse that can aid so many conditions. In this toxic day and age, a powerful antioxidant like vitamin c is a must. It also lowers histamine, if you happen to have a problem with that. While I am at it, another powerhouse in orthomolecular medicine is niacin. I don’t take it myself, but Fraser does, and he is better for it. It is great for combating depression.
Lower oestrogen – As I mentioned earlier, lowering oestrogen is a must. These days our bodies are swamped by it. From xenoestrogens like BPA in plastic water bottles and containers, phytoestrogens from soy and other foods, the oestrogen our bodies make from our own fat cells, and that’s before the natural oestrogen our bodies are programmed to make! If you google symptoms of oestrogen dominance, you’ll be amazed at the list. The reason I am including on my list, is that it can cause extra anxiety especially as we age, so if you do nothing else, lowering oestrogen will help you on so many levels. So here is how I combat that…
Cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage and brussel sprouts (blah), contain a chemical called indol 3 carbinol, which helps to break down oestrogen molecules. I take a supplement called DIM Plus that works really well. I also take Calcium D’Glucarate, which attaches to oestrogen and escorts it out of the body. You see, if oestrogen is not removed properly from the body, it can get re-absorbed in the intestines and do another lap around. Like you needed any more!!!! Following these steps, can also markedly reduce your breast cancer risk. Not a bat side effect eh? I then use Anna’s Wild Yam cream, to add in some progesterone. And last but not least…
Alcohol – I’ve saved the best until last. I love nothing more than sitting down with a Sauvignon Blanc, however, it’s far from an ideal choice, which is why I mostly drink Merlot. Red wine, has quite magical properties! Red wine (especially from Spain) is rich in Resveratrol, which, among other things, blocks a process called Aromatisation. Aromatisation can cause good hormones in your body, to be converted to bad forms of oestrogen. We can’t seem to get a break, can we? Of course there are herbs such as passionflower and chamomile that can do the same thing, but I prefer the vino.
I could go on and on and on, but that will do for now. You’ve probably heard all about putting your own oxygen mask on first? Well, it’s not just in an emergency situation that we should be doing that. We need to put ourselves first if not all of the time, then a good percentage of the time. We all work hard and deserve to be happy and we’ll be better parents for it. So get yourself a comedy, relax on the couch with your red wine. Look at that glass of red wine, and like Fat Bastard from The Spy Who Shagged Me, say ‘GET IN MY BELLY! And the cool thing is, if you’re doing all of the other good things, it’s good for you!
Kitty
xx
PS : I have mentioned a few brand names in this post. I am not affiliated in any way with any of these products. They’re just the ones that work for me 🙂
AUTnotISM 