Okay, it’s also a cool song by Evanescence, but I just couldn’t fit that in the title. Anyhoo, i’ll get to that later.
My all time favourite movie is Apollo 13, not only because of the great acting, direction, music, attention to detail and because Tom Hanks is in it, but because, at its heart, the true story of Apollo 13 is a testament to what incredible things human beings can achieve not only when they want to, but when they have to. The differences between wanting to and having to can be vast indeed, but when the desire is there, great things can happen. The movie is obviously about the Apollo 13 mission to the moon in 1970 that ultimately ended up almost costing the astronauts their lives. Jim Lovell, the mission Captain, had been in an unexpected situation before and referred to it in the movie…
'I remember this one time. I'm in a Banshee at night in combat conditions, so there's no running lights on the carrier. It was the Shangri-La and we were in the Sea of Japan, and my radar had jammed, and my homing signal was gone because somebody in Japan was actually using the same frequency and so it was leading me away from where I was supposed to be. And I'm looking down at that big black ocean. So I flip on my map light. And then suddenly zap everything shorts out right there in my cockpit, all my instruments are gone, my lights are gone, I can't even tell now what my altitude is. I know I'm running out of fuel, so I'm thinking about ditching in the ocean and I look down there and then in the darkness there's this green trail, it's like a long carpet that just laid out right beneath me, and it was the algae, right. It was that phosphorescent stuff that gets turned up in the wake of a big ship and it was just leading me home. And... if my cockpit lights hadn't shorted out, there's no way I had ever been able to see that. So you never know what events are gonna transpire to get you home'.
Yesterday, I took my kids shopping to the local shopping centre (‘whoa Kitty, livin’ large’! I hear you thinking), which, with a child with autism, can be fraught with peril and could be very aptly described as ‘combat conditions’ as the list of possibilities can be endless, from running away, to screaming (his sisters favourite…NOT), demanding ‘chocrat’ or ‘chipst’ at the top of his voice and heaven forbid anyone knock him, ’cause he not only has autism, but is afflicted with ‘indignation’ and he will give, bigger and better than he got if he’s in the right (or wrong) mood. In his defence, shopping centres are those mystical places that to some of us humans, are calling to us like the Sirens of myth and legend, while to others, they are like torture chambers that do nothing but inflict pain and discomfort. My husband is in that last category and he doesn’t have autism. So poor Fraser has been hit twice, not only does he have the big ‘A’, but he is also, just a chip off the old block!
Anyhoo, before I tell you what happened I will go back a few weeks, as I want to keep you in suspense. As I have previously mentioned, in the last few weeks of school of 2013, I started to treat Fraser for his high histamine by giving him large doses of vitamin C, calcium and a half a Zyrtec everyday and the results were nothing short of miraculous. That was then. What has been happening is that he has had a major exacerbation of symptoms, which is common as you are pulling histamine (or any type of toxin) out of tissues to be removed from the body. He has been very difficult to handle at times. He has ranged from just looking and feeling unwell to being so agro that he’d have Mike Tyson cowering in the corner. This is soooo difficult to watch because he just looks so tormented. So, when you see your child turn from calm, happy and settled with no negative behaviours, to one that is raging, agro and out of control, what do you do? PANIC!!! I couldn’t call for help on the radio, and the lights had shorted out, Like Jim Lovell, I was flying blind! I know you’re not supposed to panic, you’re a mummy, that’s not what you’re supposed to do…at all, but I just couldn’t help it. A year ago he was ‘asked to leave’ his special school and here we were, a year later, possibly back where we started dealing with the same unmanageable behaviour. Now, I knew as I dealt with the Histamine, that this could happen, but sometimes, as a Mummy, the logical part of me is not in control. The funny thing is, if I saw someone else’s child going through the same thing I know I would say ‘don’t worry, this will get better’ but I couldn’t do it for myself in the panic mode I was in, and as much as I love my hubby, he’s hopeless at that. His big advice when he saw me stressing was ‘stop stressing’. Yeah right! So, my panicked but curious Capricorn self kicked in and began what i’ll call a ‘fractal quest’, one that has branched of the side of the main quest. So, I stayed up researching late into the night, and something crept into my head that had made it’s way there before during another difficult time. It was the thought that ‘maybe there’s something else wrong here’. As difficult as it was, I started to look at childhood schizophrenia and bipolar, and while he has some overlapping symptoms (which is very common), I wasn’t convinced either way. As I said, I was in panic mode, and I had to find a way to help him settle. He had been on a very low dose of Risperdal (an antipsychotic) for the past year, and there was no way, we were going to raise the dosage. I hated giving it to him at the best of times, but when he was agro, it seemed not only pointless as it clearly wasn’t working, but dangerous to continue. I searched and searched, like Captain Lovell looking for something, anything to guide him, and then, I found my green carpet laid out for me! While it wasn’t as clear as that at the time, the sound of it glittered like hope in my head. Enter ‘Lithium Orotate’ (now the title should start to make some sense). I started researching the overlapping symptoms of Autism and Bipolar and the supplements for children and adults with these overlapping symptoms when I read about the Lithium Orotate. Just to be clear, Lithium Orotate is a naturally occurring mineral and nothing to do with Lithium Carbonate that is prescribed by psychiatrists for Bi-Polar. I started reading reviews and blogs by other parents and sufferers and it sounded fantastic, in fact, it sounded waaaay to good to be true but, as I said, I was in panic mode, and with a tingle of hope, I searched and found some locally available, and had it express posted the next day, and made the decision not to give him the Risperdal anymore. I had wanted to get him off the medication since the first dose! But he needed it at the time.
I don’t know much about Lithium Orotate and I don’t for a second want to pretend that I do, I just want share the journey of what i’m doing, and I invite everyone to do their own research before putting anything into yours or your child’s body, however, I felt that I knew enough at that point to give it to him safely. What I do know it’s that Lithium Orotate works particularly well on Autistic children who have high levels of toxic metals (as Fraser most definitely does) so, I nervously gave him the first dose. I really was nervous, because I’ve had bipolar friends on Lithium and I know how much trouble it can cause. I had to get my head around the fact that this was different. I cut it in half, put into the good old peanut butter and watched nervously. Now, 30 days is what I read is the time it takes to build up in the system and have a noticeable effect, so I was only watching to make sure nothing negative happened to him. Within an hour, he seemed a little sleepy, but so calm!!! He just seemed happy, like some of that inner tension had just evaporated! I was perplexed, and still am that this happened so quickly! It has been five days and he is a new boy… again!
So, shopping centre story. I said to little man, ‘we have to go to the shops and get some things, then we’ll get you some chips’ (have to sweeten the deal somehow), so off we went. For the first time, he got into the car without a twirly ( tape measures he like to twirl around his fingers, he doesn’t go anywhere without one and hasn’t for years), no iPad, ipod or even a book. He calmly got in and put on his seatbelt. We went to the supermarket and got some food, and he was fine. We went to Ishka because it’s his sisters favourite store, and he was fine. We went to the food court and as I lined up to get his beloved ‘chipst’, proudly watched as my children calmly sat at the table and played together. He finished his chips and happily sat and waited for us to finish our lunch (he’d normally run off as soon as he was done and yell ‘cart’ to go back to the car), while smiling and looking around at everyone and everything. We then went to Kmart, where he excitedly bounded around looking at books and DVD’s. He got himself a Lion King book and happily carried the bag of shopping back to the car. So lets re-cap…busy supermarket, check! Small overstocked, pungent smelling, brightly coloured specialty store, check! Noisy, pushy, overcrowded food court, check! And hugely overwhelming department store, check! It may not sound like a big deal to you if your child doesn’t have Autism or sensory issues, but for us it was incredible. I got to feel like a normal Mummy! It was so joyous watching the kids walking hand in hand through the centre. As much as I enjoyed watching them enjoy each others company, I wanted to shout out to everyone in the food court ‘check this out’!!! Once we got home, didn’t pick up a twirly until 3 in the afternoon.
At this point I don’t know if it’s just the Lithium, the lack of Risperdal, or the lowering of the histamine, but he’s happy again, and that’s all that matters for now. If he wakes up agro again tomorrow, I know that peace is possible, and the right balance will make it happen again, as there is more than one green carpet. As I have been researching, I have found something incredibly interesting. Risperdal (the potent brain shrinking anti psychotic drug he was on) is a potent anti histamine!!!!! I have to wonder, if it’s course of action in the year he was taking it, has been not by affecting his dopamine levels as it was prescribed for, but lowering his histamine. It seems that with all of the other histamine lowering supplements, that the risperdal’s method of action in Fraser’s body was not only no longer needed, but causing the very aggression is was supposed to curb!!!! The great thing is, that none of it was in vain, as without this course of events, we wouldn’t be riding the green carpet today. I’m not a big fan of medication, but as i’ve said previously, it is often necessary. What is the point of doing all of the other things to help, if you can’t get the stress levels down! There’s not a lot of point to dragging out excess histamine and toxins if the adrenals are going to be shrivelled up little prunes by the time your done! Cortisol and stress MUST be kept low as much as possible and there are many herbs, supplements and medications that reduce stress. Finding what works is such a hard slog, but ultimately worthwhile. It seems for now, that things are continuing to look up again.
There is one thing final thought that I want to leave you with. In the midst of all of this, I wrote an email to Fraser’s pediatrician outlining his behaviour, but I never sent it. I saved it to drafts and didn’t think about it again. Two days ago, Fraser took his Dad to the computer, opened up the emails, and went straight into the drafts to the email about him. He wanted his Dad to delete it. We don’t know how on earth he knew it was there. He certainly wasn’t around me when I wrote it, but he somehow knew it was there, and wanted it gone. This child continues to amaze me in every way. It seems that he has been craving foods for many years, that contain the most natural lithium…bread (grains) and potatoes (nightshades), and since starting on the Lithium, his need for large amounts of these foods has markedly decreased. At this point all I can say is…’watch this space’. I’ll keep you posted,
Kitty xx
AUTnotISM 